No, but yes

I was working with a group of teachers recently looking at the language that they use in the classroom. Bringing NLP into education is a passion of mine. How wonderful to be a magician at the front of the class?

Language is everything. We cannot not communicate and we cannot not influence and be influenced by others. Being mindful of the language we use in the classroom can make learning a lot more fun.

Take ‘but’ as an example. It’s a word we use often – but – do we need to? ‘But’ negates everything that has gone before it. Imagine the classic situation when a woman asks ‘do I look fat in this dress’ and her husband answers ‘no, but the blue dress suits you better’. All the woman hears is yes you do! And the wonderful ‘I’m not telling you what to do but …’ Hmmm, yes you are. It’s the same with children. If you say to a child ‘that is a wonderful drawing but it might look nicer if you used the red crayon’ all the child hears is ‘it will be nicer if you used the red crayon’ and will feel upset and demoralized. Far better to use linking words such as ‘and’; ‘that is a wonderful drawing and it might look even nicer if you used the red crayon’.

‘Don’t’ is another word that is often used for no effect. Telling a child ‘don’t run’ may stop the pupil for a second before they speed up again. Using ‘please walk’ will have a much better result. The reason for this is the human mind cannot process a negative. If I say to you ‘don’t think of a purple elephant’ you have to make a picture of what not to think about in order to attempt not thinking about it.

Now don’t think of a pink kangaroo to take away the image of a purple elephant.

Change your language and you change your thoughts (Karl Albrecht)