Silence the Chattering Monkey

You know the monkey I mean. The one inside your head. Your own internal dialogue. ‘I don’t have an internal dialogue’ I hear you say. Hmmm get my point?

Sadly, we hardly ever use the voice inside our heads to make ourselves feel better but almost always to beat ourselves up. We get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say ‘God, I look old ….. fat …… ugly’, any combination or even all of the above, and then go about our day wondering why we don’t feel good? Now, I’m not advocating that we look in the mirror and tell ourselves that we are gorgeous, beautiful, wonderful …. No, actually I am advocating that. Why not give ourselves uplifting affirmations instead of the usual slap? Looking into the mirror and telling yourself that ‘I am happy’ through gritted teeth might not work though, so why not remind yourself of the wonderful qualities you have? Too difficult? Ok, concentrate on one thing about yourself that you like and congratulate yourself on that feature. When you are using your internal dialogue to do this, how does the voice sound? Whose voice is it? There is an NLP trick to make the criticizing voice as silly as you possibly can. Mickey mouse is always a good voice to use or a cartoon character that is really bumbling and, dare I say it, a bit thick. Or even a very bad foreign accent. Try it out. Practice this whenever you start to criticize yourself and you’ll find that it’s really difficult to be harsh in that kind of voice. Now, how about the rare times that you say something nice to yourself? Yes, I do mean those times that you look in the mirror. Make this voice as sexy as you can. Maybe an actor that melts you or even the Cadbury’s Caramel bunny. Feel how much better this is.

How about if you want to silence the voice? Often, we are too busy talking to ourselves to really listen to what somebody else is saying or pay attention to the outside world. There are various tips to silence the monkey. Chris Hall, an acclaimed NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer, recommends thanking the voice so your unconscious knows that you have acknowledged whatever is said and just letting it go. Jamie Smart has a more practical solution. Make the tip of your tongue touch where your upper teeth meet your gum and imagine you have a drop of oil balanced between the tip of your tongue at the point where your gums meet your teeth. Mind and body are one system and internal dialogue is accompanied by tiny micro-muscle movements of the tongue. When these movements are restricted the internal voice stops.

Or, you can always do what Richard Bandler, co creator of NLP, advises and tell the chattering monkey to just ‘shut the f**k up’!

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